reddit’s user GSnow’s beautiful reply to coping with the death of loved ones

Coping with death of a loved one is certainly no easy task. So many questions. So many ways to find peace yet what about later? What about guilt? Maybe nothing ever seems like it is working. Even your love for your God can be tested in these times. And the beginning of the coping isn’t really a beginning because there really is never an end to the process. The reddit member ‘GSnow’ responded to a 2011 post on reddit, “My friend just died. I don’t know what to do.” A couple of blogs have posted this amazing response and some of the blogs have been suspended for whatever reason. So for my friends and family, I wanted a spot on the internet that it would easily be found.  So why not here, at my corner of the internet. I love this response. Here is the quote. Click this link to go directly to GSnow’s response. LINKY

“Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

Delicious Home Made Alfredo Sauce

Homemade Alfredo sauce, delicious Alfredo Sauce, is it possible?


I was staring at the fridge tonight, as I am sure all of us do, thinking WTF do I make tonight? I saw the cream cheese, glanced at the fridge door and saw the shredded Parmesan cheese, and oh yeah, there’s the butter. I thought to myself, “I THINK Alfredo Sauce is just butter and cheese right?! I got this.” But, I am not sure of quantities, as I never am. So a quick google search found me some simple recipes for Alfredo Sauce. Most don’t use cream cheese but most do have complaints of “blandness”.  I was pretty positive the cream cheese would bring the sauce to another level of ‘American’ haha! So I kept digging and found that had a very basic recipe using cream cheese. I will work from here to “wreck it” and it make it more Dewey’ized but for now all of you need to know is this a good base for a Alfredo recipe, albeit very Americanized. Simple, creamy, and flavorful. Try it out and let me know whatcha think.

Assuming you can handle the cooking of chicken, pasta, or whatever else you want to add to this, here ya go…

Delicious Homemade Alfredo Sauce

Serves 4
Prep time 5 minutes
Cook time 5 minutes
Total time 10 minutes
Allergy Milk
Meal type Main Dish
Misc Child Friendly, Serve Hot
This is a basic Americanized recipe for Alfredo Sauce. The ingredient that is different in this over others is the cream cheese (instead of heavy cream). It helps keep the sauce simple yet not bland. To step this sauce up, throw some chopped garlic in the melted butter for couple minutes before you start adding other ingredients. Parsely can be added as well.


Step 1

  • 1/2 cup Butter (salted) (Cut up into 1/4)

Step 2

  • 8oz Cream Cheese (Dice into cubes for quick melting)
  • 2 teaspoons Garlic Powder
  • 2 cups Milk (Whatever fat level you want, you shouldn't need all the milk)

Step 3

  • 6oz Grated/Shredded Parmesan Cheese
  • 1/8 teaspoon Ground Black Pepper


Step 1
Step 1 In a medium NON-STICK saucepan melt the butter over medium heat. Use a whisk to get things moving along. (teflon coated whisk is nice so you don't damage your non-stick sauce pan)
Step 2
Step 2 Just as the butter is completely melted add your cream cheese and garlic powder. Stir with whisk until smooth. You can start adding milk SLOWLY, a little at a time. The milk's cool temp will cause your sauce's temp to dive if you put too much in too quick. Continually whisk/stir. You don't need to add all the milk.
Step 3
Step 3 Once the mixture is nice and smooth and a little looser than what an Alfredo sauce should be add your black pepper and Parmesan cheese. Now whisk and stir until your sauce is creamy and is at your desired consistency. The sauce will thicken quick. Use the milk to loosen it up if you feel it needs it. Again, using all 2 cups of the milk is not necessary. I used almost a cup and half of milk. You may find that if you make the sauce too early you'll need milk later to loosen it up as well. KEEP an eye on the heat and burning and be sure to turn it down once you are done.
Step 4 Once it is to your liking, put the heat on low and toss with the hot pasta. Add chicken or whatever else you want. I like to add chopped spinach to the hot pasta and mix the hot sauce and stir it all. The spinach will wilt but be at a perfect texture.


To step this sauce up, throw some chopped garlic, and/or diced onions in the melted butter for couple minutes before you start adding other ingredients. For that matter, throw any spices you think would work great. Your imagination is your only limitation to flavor. Parsley can be added as well.

Dry vs Wet Brine

Dry versus wet bring. Which is better? More efficient? Which is easier? Every year there is always some one trying to dis the idea of wet brining. Like it was just thought up a few years ago or something. I am certain the Chinese and Scandinavians would take issue with that as they have practiced it for a 1,000 years or longer. Here’s a lovely piece from Buzzfeed that causes me to post about it. I wrote about wet brining last year…HERE.

Here’s Proof That Bringing Your Turkey is Stupid and Wrong

Lauren Zaser / BuzzFeed


IF you can get past the obvious click bait words, “stupid” and “wrong” and ignore the “why my idea is better” atmosphere of the buzzfeed article then we can actually talk about different ways to prep your turkey.

My wife cooks the Thanksgiving turkey at our house. I usually cook a duck, small turkey or chicken, and this year I am throwing in a rack of ribs as well! My wife typically does wet brining. And I know why, cause it works for her. She found a recipe (egad! who follows recipes?!?!) online a few years back. Her turkeys are great.  I typically do whatever I feel like at the time. Dry brine sometimes, wet brine other times. I hate the tone of the above linked buzzfeed article but I think it is fair in asking why should we have to go thru the wet brine process if we can find another way that would make us happy? Not wrong. Not Stupid, just another way.  Did you know that ButterBall used to inject the turkeys with butter? Hence the name? They don’t do that anymore but you can do it! Forget the brine all together, inject that bird with butter!

Anyways, I am making this post because if you are researching brining I don’t want you to use the buzzfeed link as an information tool for wet and/or dry bringing. I want you to view the following two pages before you set you virgin brining eyes on that click bait craze buzzfeed article.

AMAZINGRIBS.COM Ultimate Smoked Turkey
by: Meathead Goldwyn
This page has a plethera of information. Ignore the “smoked” part of the link. It has tons of turkey info. All pretty much proven by science. This page has some kicks ass, I mean kick ass information. I am not partial, I swear. 🙂

The Food Lab: Turkey Brining Basics
This page does a great job of explaining wet brining and is written by a serious chef, not a blogger like me. Yeah yeah, the author of that buzzfeed article is likely more educated than me on the topic. But I promise not an expert. A simple question for qualifying anyone is, would you allow your lawyer to call them in as an expert witness? LOL Anyway this site also talks about a lower “done” temperature like 140*-150*.  I think internal temp is one of the biggest players in making meats dry. That’s an obvious statement, I know. But you are told to cook your turkey to 165* (FDA item #3). AND if you read that AmazingRib write up you’ll see those pop up temp thingies are just a “tad” wrong.


Don’t forget our Food Science expert Alton Brown! You don’t like Alton? Put your mouse or finger over the small x in the top right corner and never come back to this site again. Please. Here is Alton’s Thanksgiving page (tagged keyword site LOL) HERE. He also did a video on Brine Thawing. A clever way of thawing your turkey and brining at the same time. View Site link HERE or the Facebook Video Link HERE

Any way you shake your turkey leg, have fun and do test runs. And remember, the recipe is only for guidance. Get a feel for what works and start messing around with what you got until you are happy! Happy Thanksgiving!!



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