Category Archives: Meat

If it had a heartbeat, it’ll end up in here.

Deep fried ham!!!

Had to go to the really large store that has “Home” in the name today. I try my best to replace my light bulbs with LED as they go out. Screw that fluorescent crap. Not because it has mercury in them. 48 micrograms of mercury in a 6 oz tuna sandwich versus .07 micrograms in a typical CFL breakage. If you are scared of fluorescent bulbs then you should DEFINITELY stop eating tuna fish sandwiches. But fluorescents do suck. They don’t last as long as they are marketed. For lots of reasons. I am in the electric trade, easy to get me side tracked with that, sorry. I digress.

So in the big orange store, they had a few items on deep discount. Like Xmas lights. Oh man, I picked some up, but I put them back. LOL Wife if going to be mad at me enough. They also had a deep fryer kit on sale. About 33% off. Would you believe, I don’t have one? Why? Everybody else has one that’s why. Okay okay, the real reason, my wife is scared I’d hurt myself. Well, I wasn’t supervised today, and so, I grabbed it. A huge jug of peanut oil as well.

For Xmas our owner gives us a spiral ham among other things. Cool deal I think. Some guys in the construction industry have it tough, living week to week. A spiral ham, if used right can last an EASY 2 weeks. Just my opinion. Can you say amazing bean soups for a week?!?!!? Well, My cousin’s house burnt down on New Year’s Eve, yeh, looooong story, I’ll cover that later. One of the items he lost (they lost everything) was his deep fryer. I have asked him a hundred times to make a deep-fried ham but he just sticks to turkeys and fries. So picked one up. 1) I’ll probably give it to him anyway. 2) I need to do something with that spiral ham.

Lots of mustard, some Worcestershire sauce, sriracha sauce and 350* later! Good food!

Lots of mustard, maybe 2 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce, and 2 tablespoons of sriracha sauce.
Mix that sauce up and coat the ham. If you have a spiral ham, get into the slices. If just a whole ham, get it all over it. Preferable to do this hours before hand.
Once the deep fryer oil is at 350*, slowly immerse ham. I used some butcher’s string to hold it on to the turkey prong that comes with the deep fryer kit.
Once in oil, watch oil to make sure it doesn’t bubble over. Follow manufacturers recommendations. When you put the ham in, the oil temp will drop a lot. Try to work it back up to 350*. It’ll be hard. Don’t go over 350*. Nevertheless, using the long thermometer that came with kit, watch inside meat temp as well. Don’t go over 150* for the meat temp. Once at 150* pull it. I don’t know, maybe 15-20 minutes.


I brought mine out a little early. It was at 135*.
Close up! YUMMY!
Cut up!

Again, I yanked it a little early. I don’t have much experience with the deep fryer so I got a little scared of the “burnt look”. But stick to those temps. My inner meat near the bone was a little over 130*. Maybe another 5-10 minutes would have done it. Anyway…sandwich time!!!!

Fried me an egg. Sliced up some avocado. Sliced a tomato. Some sriracha. Toast. MMM MMM MMMM!!!

Sandwich time!
MMMMMMMM This is sooooooo good.
Don’t be scared of mustard, sriracha, or any wet seasoning in the deep fryer. You don’t taste it, exactly. It does some amazing stuff with flavor!


Forget the recipe, cook for yourself!








Redneck Beef Wellington?

A good friend of mine is always posting those shared food pages or recipes on my Facebook page. (Don’t stop Linda, love the ideas!) Some of it looks great but I am just too lazy to give most of it a try. Some though, for some reason grab me enough to make me try them. She posted a meatloaf wrapped in crescent dough that intrigued me. I found what looks like the original post of this recipe HERE but I believe the post she sent me was some other person, kcameron17 or something taking claim to it. haha. Of course in the world of the internet, that person probably stole the recipe from someone who stole it from someone else who also probably stole it from their Aunt. Never the less, it had redneck written all over it, so I wrecked it. Here’s me trying it the first time, my way.

Alright, original recipe (original as far as I can tell) says this…
2 lbs lean ground beef
1 cup dry bread crumbs
2 eggs beaten
1 chopped onion
1 chopped bell pepper
1 cup chopper mushrooms
1 cup chopped black olives
3/4 tsp salt
1 tsp leaf oregano
1 8oz can tomato sauce
1 cup shredded mozz cheese
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 cans crescent rolls

Okay, let’s get this out of the way,  HOLY CRAP! I didn’t realize it at first but this is a metric crap ton of food. Unless you have a family of 6, you can cut this in half, easy. Second, that first poster posted this as healthy, HAHAHAHAHA…where was I? Oh yeh…my wrecked recipe…

1/2 lb of grass-fed beef, 80/20
1/2 cup of bread crumbs
1/2 cup of panko crumbs (I know, weird, but it’s my recipe)
1/2lb of bison. You shush! Just do it.
1 cup of Portobello shrooms
3-4 small sweet bell peppers. The little midgets, errr I am sorry, the little bell peppers. (later I found this dish to be too sweet. You might want to go with normal bell peppers or replace them with something you like that is less sweet)
Half cup of diced black olives
palm full of oregano leaves diced up
1/2 yellow onion diced up
2 garlic cloves
1/2 tsp of salt
1/2 tsp of crush black pepper
1 8oz can of tomato sauce
1/2 tsp of red pepper flakes (I didn’t use this, but I highly suggest something to help break up the sweet crescent rolls flavors)
Mozz cheese and cheddar cheese, as much as you like. Go easy. Most of our cholesterol intake comes from dairy products you know
1 can of crescent roll

The original recipe calls for raw meat and mix. Hey, it’s a meatloaf. Personally, I like to cook off some fat first. So, two pans, one to cook garlic and onions until they start to caramelize and the other pan to get the red meat products a touch over rare. I even like to use an iron skillet so I can put the heat to them to burn a little bit. Don’t do that with the teflon stuff. Oooof, hard lesson there. I went ahead and cooked everything in the skillet that I could. Shrooms, olives, small sweet bell peppers, and whatever else you want to add. Hey, throw some broccoli, bacon, spinach, or whatever you want in there. It’s a redneck meatloaf for crying out loud.

Once those things have started to caramelize or get translucent I put them all in a large mixing bowl. Drain off the red meat so the greases are not involved in this party and mix in the bowl as well. I stirred in 1/2 of the tomato sauce in the bowl with everything as well. Hell, threw in some mozz and cheddar as well. Not much though.

Alright, set that bowl off to the side and let it marinate while you get the dough spread out. Here are the recipe’s direction, “Unroll crescent roll dough and don’t separate. Lay end to end on top of wax paper and place second piece of wax paper on top. Now take rolling-pin and roll the dough out till it’s half the thickness that it was originally.”

HAhahahaha. Yeh, okay I didn’t have wax paper, because honestly, what redneck does? I threw some flour on the kitchen table and took a rolling-pin (I KNOW, I had one of these!) and roll that sucker out to about half its thickness. Now, it wasn’t easy. It kept wanting to separate at the dashed lines in the dough. You know that spot, where you are supposed to rip and make a crescent roll. LOL Once rolled out though, HOLY CRAP this thing is huge!!! Note to self, next time, on use half the can. Anyway, I rolled it out and placed the mixture on the dough and spread it out. Put some tomato sauce on it along with some mozz and cheddar cheese.

Now the instructions say to roll it up like a jelly-roll fashion, starting at the narrow end; use the wax paper to help. Or for us rednecks, aluminum foil. Place the seam side down. Place in a non-stick 9 1/4″ X 5 1/2″ x 2 3/4″ bread pan. HAHAHA Okay, don’t even try to pick this monstrosity up. Use the foil or wax paper to put it into the pan. In fact, next time I do this, I will put the pan on it upside down and use the foil/wax paper to hold it in as I flip it over. And if you took notes and only use half a can of crescent roll dough, now you can put the seam down. If not and you used a whole can of dough, good like finding a side without a seam.

Once you wrestle this pig into a pan, the instructions say to cook it at 375* F for 30 minutes. Instruction says to drain off any fat that accumulates and return to the oven for another 30 minutes. Since my ingredients were already cooked and mine didn’t create any fat juices, mine took about 40 minutes. With no juices to drain off during the cooking.

All in all…very good and easy to make. Just a few surprises if you aren’t used to dough. Original recipe was way to large and I think the crescent rolls were way too sweet.  If I make this again, and it was tasty enough that I might, I would definitely add some spice to it. Or maybe change the dough to pizza dough or something. Redneck Beef Wellington, not too shabby. I liked it. Had tons of potential, even with me wrecking it. By the way, I forgot the eggs from the original recipe. HAHA

Smoke & BBQ Ribs on the grill

Every year I always say I want to invite friends over for a fall cook out. I really like the Fall season and grilling in it is just as awesome in my opinion. Last night was some chilly weather for a mid September day and I thought to myself, “Hey, self, let’s make some ribs, we don’t need to have a gathering to do it. And self, listen, we don’t need to do it at 12PM in the day. We can start at 7PM. It’ll be alright.” So, after a few drinks to quieten down my self’s voice I decided to also do it the hard way. Smoke & BBQ Ribs on the grill.

Actually with the 50* to 60* outside temp it was relatively easy to keep the temps under control at first. First 2 hours and 30-45 minutes stayed righ in the 250* spot. I prefer 225* but it was a tad bit of work to get the 250* to line up. Choking it more and/or letting off some pressure might have caused a more active temp adjustment process. So, 250*, little hot, but on my half hour checks and spritzes, they looked good.

At around the 2 hour 45 minute spot you start to realize why smoking and charcoal grilling is tough in cold weather. The grill temps drop fast when they do start cooling. Fast being a relative term. I already had a side chimney of charcoal ready to go for this low temp occasion.  I figured the ribs had another hour to go so I need those temps back up in the 250* range. However, I over estimated the new coals. The new temp was hovering right around 310*. Since I only had about an hour left, I grabbed another drink (yeh, a work night too) and just changed my check schedule to “every 10 minutes” or so. Turning and spritzing as needed. This increased door opening of the grill helped keep the “too hot” grill temp under control and helped ensure while the collagen is still converted to gelatin goodness is doesn’t get to hot and dry out or get too tough.

The finished product on the average 250* high temp of charcoal has its hard crunchy bits of goodness versus the normal “everything is soft and tender”. They cooked from 7:15PM to 10:45PM. But I like that crunchy goodness, as long as the inside is tender.

For a last second thought (I had them frozen for about a week WITH the rub already on them but they were in the fridge and just thawed out) this were damn good. There is NO BBQ sauce on these. NONE! I spritz them every half hour with a mixture of EVOO, Apple Cider, and white grape juice. Don’t knock it till you try it!  I didnt read that anywhere, that’s my own concoction.

I made a full rack to share for lunch at work the next day. But my son and I couldn’t stop eating the first half rack.

Like I said, they were pretty tasty.

Pork Chop Dinner

Thick boneless pork chops, Green beans with Portabella Mushrooms, and corn on the cobb without the cobb.

Sliced some baby portabellas up. Thick. Cut up two cloves of garlic. Threw all of that plus some salt, pepper, 1 TBSP of EVOO, and 1 TBSP of butter in the pan on medium heat.

While the shrooms are in the pan, get those chops on the grill. I seasoned mine with a seasoned salt mixture. Interesting little blend of Coarse Sea Salt, Smoked Paprika, Sugar, Special Extra Bold Black Pepper, Turmeric, Onion, Garlic, Spice Extractives (including oleoresin of paprika, black pepper, celery, rosemary and thyme). Penzy’s Spices sells it. Grill should be HOT to put a little crunchy sear on them and then to low on the heat. (Like 2 minutes of hot before lowering the temp) My grill floats around 400* with all 3 burners on low. Just check and turn every so often.


Half cooked boneless pork

Grab an ear or two of corn. Cut the kernels off and put into a sauce pan with salt, pepper, little bit of garlic powder, little bit of chicken broth, a dose of honey, and a TBSP of butter. Put top on pan and stir every now and again. Medium heat for about 10 minutes then to simmer. Nothing wrong with making corn on the cobb. I just like cutting it off and my 8 yr old likes it this way too. The wife prefers it on the cobb. It brings out the kid in her.


Get the green beans and about half a cup of chicken broth onto those shrooms. Little under middle heat, like 4, and cover. Let them stem until you like the tenderness. I prefer them crunchy and some prefer them mushy. Once they reach what you like you can put some arrow root in a small bowl with a little bit of cool water and make a slurry. Pour that in your green bean broth and it should tighten it up some. Cover and put to the side. Likely you are going to need more salt/season. But I like less salt myself.

I put too much. Oh well, more arrow root!

Get your butt back outside, make sure the chops aren’t burning. Time to get them to juicy level with some butter. Get small bowl, melt some butter in the nuker (popcorn and melting butter is the only thing I use the microwave for). Put some garlic powder in it if you want. Or rosemary. Or anything you want to taste. Brush it on the chops liberally. Flip, do again. Once chops get to 145*-155* get them off and let them rest while you plate everything. They need about 10 minutes to redistribute their juices.


EAT! Sit down with the family. No TV. Talk and laugh or yell and cry, but do it together. Have a great Labor Day weekend frankenspammers! Be safe! Post some food pics!